


you get me

by robbosugden



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Denial, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 22:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19119208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robbosugden/pseuds/robbosugden
Summary: they’ve captured my heart. this is something I wrote in a few minutes,On from today’s episode 6/6/19





	you get me

Everything turns silent around them, the cold night air suddenly turns warm, but that doesn’t stop the shiver from going down Callum’s spine. 

He pulls hurriedly at Ben’s shirt, can’t get to him quick enough. Let’s himself  _ want  _ and it feels like the heavens are closing in on him, like all of this is going to smash into a million pieces and be over, he doesn’t want that.

Doesn’t want this to  mean anything. He doesn’t even  like  Ben for god sake. He doesn’t know anything anymore, and he’s so bloody scared of everything. Of himself, of Ben, of having to face what this moment in time means for them. For him.

Ben’s cold hands cup at his face, all soft and safe; nothing like the Ben Callum sees and knows. But that’s the thing, he does know  Ben and Ben knows him, and it’s scary how quickly they’ve got to this. How the walls have begun to crumble for both of them.

Ben stops for a second, leans back to look at Callum, his eyes barely focusing, and he looks like he wants to say something, but Callum doesn’t want to talk. Talking isn’t doing him any good.

Callum steps in again, making Ben sit on the edge of the bench, his hands balled up into his leather jacket, almost wants to hurt him for making this a reality.

Ben’s stronger, though, wraps his fingers around Callum’s wrists and makes him stop for a second, needs this to slow down and needs them to just  breathe.

“Let’s take this to mine,” he whispers, trying to steady his breathing and hopes Callum can’t see what he’s doing to him, but hopes he sees that this isn’t just a game despite what everyone says about him.

But the words turn Callum cold. Makes him think of Whitney, and how all of this is wrong even though it’s the most he’s felt himself in so long.

He doesn’t want to be a bit of fun for Ben, it’s got to mean something for both of them, he won’t cheapen himself.

Callum let’s himself capture one more kiss, the lingering feeling long after makes him feel sick. He shakes his head before stepping away. “I can’t.”

He can’t face Ben now, doesn’t want to see the pity, the anger or the disgust probably on his face. He can barely move, but he knows he needs to.

The sound of a car alarm going off is his sign, and he takes it. He rushes away as fast as he can, closes his eyes against the sound of his name being called behind him.


End file.
